BREAKING up is never easy, but it can be downright painful depending on how you do it.
From buying breakup presents to ghosting, there are countless bad ways to dump your SO.
In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, Walmart has released a present that will do all the dirty work for you.
For just $17, you can purchase a “Bye Bye” teddy bear that, when squeezed, will dance along to the NSYNC classic Bye Bye Bye.
While Walmart described the toy as “better than a breakup text,” Twitter users have branded it “savage.”
If your other half gifts you this brutal bear for Valentine’s Day, take solace in the fact that there are even worse ways to be sent packing.
LEAVE THE COUNTRY
Disappearing off the radar has become a common way to end things in the modern age of dating.
While most people only use this abrupt exit in the early stages of getting to know someone, one man ghosted his relationship after three whole years.
In a ghosting move that would put Casper to shame, the unnamed man took a job in a new country and moved out of the apartment he shared with his long-term partner.
“I simply wanted to avoid being tangled up in a break-up drama,” he explained to AskaManager.
However, karma proved to be a dish best-served cold as his ex-girlfriend coincidentally became his boss several years later.
So if you plan on dipping out of your relationship without so much as a “goodbye,” just remember: It’s a small world after all.
HIRE SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT
If you fancy avoiding the drama of a breakup without having to pack up your whole life, then you can always hire a professional to let your partner down gently.
For as little as $10, you can hide behind a complete stranger who will draft a breakup text, email, letter, or even phone call for you.
The Breakup Shop offers a wide variety of personally tailored services to ensure you a successful breakup.
And if that doesn’t work, Facebook has created a one-stop-shop feature that will wipe away any trace of your ex, from untagging photos to banishing them from your News Feed.
TELL EVERYONE ELSE
Speaking of Facebook, changing your status from “in a relationship” to “single” is a surefire way of ending things with your boo.
A famous example of this harsh technique involved Hollywood’s “It” couple of the late 90s: Matt Damon and Minnie Driver.
In 1998, Damon had just shot to fame alongside childhood friend Ben Affleck for their film Good Will Hunting, in which Driver co-starred.
Damon, then 28, and Driver, 27, had been dating for just over a year when he appeared on Oprah and announced his new relationship status: single.
The news took fans — and Driver — by surprise, but Damon had soon moved on with Winona Ryder in the wake of the bombshell news.
MARRY SOMEONE ELSE
Driver wasn’t the only Hollywood starlet to be brutally and publicly dumped.
Fellow Oscar nominee Laura Dern returned home from shooting a film to find her then-boyfriend Billy Bob Thornton had become a married man.
In 2000, Thornton wed a young Angeline Jolie after a whirlwind romance, despite still being in a relationship with Dern.
“I left our home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I’ve never heard from him again,” Dern told Talk magazine at the time.
Dern compared the abrupt ending of the relationship with grieving “a sudden death.”
Thornton and Jolie divorced three years after their Vegas wedding and the actress was later involved in another Hollywood love triangle, this time with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.
TWEET YOUR BREAKUP
Since Oprah is off the air and getting married to someone else might seem a bit extreme, you can always take a page out of Calvin Harris’ book when it comes to unceremonious dumping.
The Scottish DJ took to Twitter to announce his breakup with then-girlfriend Rita Ora.
In his tweet, Harris wrote: “To address speculation — myself
and Rita ended our relationship some time ago. She is a beautiful, talented woman & I wish her all the best.”
The singer had been blindsided by the announcement while she was vacationing in Mexico.
However, insiders claimed the couple had been on the outs for months ahead of the brutal tweet.
So whether you’re preparing to dump someone or if you’re newly single this Valentine’s Day, just remember things could be a lot worse.